Of course I meant to publish my 2022 reads before nearing 2024, but here we are. 2022 brought many challenging times, with the passing of my beloved grandmother, and the chosen challenge of starting at a new company after 14 years at my previous one. To work through my anxieties, rereading became a crutch and a sense of comfort for me.

That being said, of course I still dove into new reads in ’22, and read a total of 51 books.

2023 has now come and gone, with 70 books consumed by year-end. 2023 was a year of new fantasy novels, memoirs, helpful nonfiction and romance, romance, romance. I was really on a roll with fantasy, romance and paranormal romance this year and haven’t looked back.

Books Read: 51 Books in 2022, 70 Books in 2023

Favorite Memoirs:

The Woman in Me, by Britney Spears- By no surprise to anyone, I preordered Britney’s book the moment it was made available (and bravo to Michelle Williams on the incredible reading in the audiobook version). I could go on about it for hours upon hours but I’ll spare you. What I will say is that I am so glad Britney could finally speak her truth on her own terms. Her story is haunting and often sad. But through it all, who Britney really is shines through: she is a southern belle with a vulnerable, kind heart. Britney wasn’t out to “get” anyone as she tells her story, she is simply holding the mic on her own at last. The girl just wants to be loved. I’ll always be in your corner, B!

Beyond the Wand: The Magic and Mayhem of Growing Up a Wizard, by Tom Felton– Nerdy as it may be, I was really excited to dive into this one! As a self-proclaimed Potterhead, I was thoroughly interested in Tom Felton- who plays Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films- and his experience growing up as a child actor on set of the films that took the world by storm. Felton is humble, self-aware, funny, charming and lovable… all the things that Draco Malfoy isn’t. His childhood stories and experiences on and off set of the Potter films were captivating, introspective and fun. A delightful read!

Wine Girl: The Trials And Triumphs Of America’s Youngest Sommelier, by Victoria James- I loved this memoir because Victoria’s life story thus far has been nothing short of unique. Victoria had a difficult upbringing, and her tales of wading through and succeeding in a male-dominated industry are remarkable, frightening at times, and inspiring. Also, I learned so much about wine, which was definitely an added bonus!

Paris: The Memoir, by Paris Hilton- I had never watched Paris Hilton on her various tv shows (although I am no stranger to The Stars Are Blind), and I’ll admit that when I was younger I thought she seemed privileged, fake and kind of… dumb. Well, that’s exactly what she wanted the world to think: the real Paris talks in her memoir about growing up a Hilton, being shipped off to Grandma’s, abuse as a teen, tragedies, the truth behind the sex tape and life at a series of abusive boarding schools. Paris was intentionally misunderstood as a protective mechanism, and created her famous “baby voice” as an additional layer to the character she portrays. If you are interested but not quite sold on the book, listen to her interview on Armchair Expert– even Dax and Monica are inspired by her bravery and her activism.

I’m Glad My Mom Died, by Jennette McCurdy- I read this biography in a day- I couldn’t put it down. McCurdy’s writing had me hooked immediately, and I have so much empathy for her and her journey. McCurdy’s childhood stories had me appalled, and some of her Hollywood tales had me laughing while others had me crying. While many elements to her childhood and early adult life are dark, McCurdy expertly weaves in dryness and humour throughout the book that is both courageous and uplifting.

The Sporty One: My Life as a Spice Girl, by Melanie Chisholm- Love me some Spice Girls, and love me some Sporty Spice! If you were a fan of the Spice Girls, this is a must-read. I thoroughly enjoyed reliving so many iconic moments from the Girl Power era, and it was also fascinating and disturbing to get a behind-the-scenes glimpse into what Melanie C experienced during that whirlwind, publicized time of her life. Melanie is humble, strong, vulnerable and kind- just like I’d always thought she’d be. ❤

This Will All Be Over Soon: A Memoir, by Cecily Strong– Cecily is one of my all-time favourite cast members on Saturday Night Live and her memoir is a beautiful ode to her cousin who died of brain cancer during Covid. Part funny, part sad, part diary-style reflection, Cecily discusses processing grief and “offers a poignant account of her cousin’s life, both before and after his diagnosis. Inspired by his unshakable positivity and the valuable lessons he taught her, she has written a book that—as indicated by its title—serves as a moving reminder: whatever challenges life might throw one’s way, they will be over soon. And so will life. So make sure to appreciate every day and don’t take a second of it for granted.” For more, check out Cecily on Conan O’Brien’s podcast, Conan Needs a Friend.

WILL, by Will Smith, with Mark Manson- I was 90% finished this fantastic memoir when the infamous “slap” happened and had to take a pause. While really enjoying the book and always having been a fan of Will, I must say that the end of the book was a little ruined for me because of the incident. I will say, I did enjoy it, and people do make mistakes.

Greenlights, by Matthew McConaughey– I highly recommend the audio version of this book- McConaughey entertains with his infamous southern drawl in the reading of Greenlights. I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir and the Australian story is my favourite (you’ll understand why when you read it!)

Favourite Nonfiction // Self- Help:

Two of my favorite nonfiction books from the past year, while seemingly different, ended up drawing many parallel conclusions and recommendations. Check out my notes on Hidden Potential by Adam Grant and Real Self-Care by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin below, and feel free to continue scrolling down if you don’t want my bullet point notes!

Hidden Potential:  The Science of Achieving Greater Things, by Adam Grant-

“This brilliant book will shatter your assumptions about what it takes to improve and succeed. I wish I could go back in time and gift it to my younger self. It would’ve helped me find a more joyful path to progress.”–Serena Williams

I listened to this audiobook (highly recommend the audio!) this towards the end of 2023, and ended up buying this book for a couple members of my team, and also a hardcopy for myself (which happens when you know I REALLY like a book). Here are just some of the highlights I took from the book:

• If we judge people only by what they can do on Day One, their potential remains hidden 
• You can’t tell where people will land from where they begin
• Potential isn’t a matter of where you start, but a matter of how far you’ve travelled
• Getting better is a worthy accomplishment in itself
• Ambition is the outcome you want to attain. Aspiration is the person you want to become. 
• Character is a learned capacity to live by your principals. Great Kindergarten teachers and great coaches nurture this (studies referenced in text)
• Learning styles are a myth 
• Procrastination is an emotional management problem. Not a laziness problem
• Instant gratification monkeys are constantly in our brain, fighting what we are trying to do longterm
• We are better off actively seeking out discomfort. Comfort in learning is a paradox. You can’t become truly comfortable with a skill until you have managed it. Accelerated learning requires a second form of courage;  be brave enough to use your knowledge as you acquire it. 
• There is an importance to praising effort, encouraging  
• If we wait to take on a new challenge, we may never take it 
• You don’t need to be perfect. You need to aim for a clean, high target. 
• If you want to get closer to right, it has to feel wrong
• Did you make yourself better today? Did you make someone else better? Then it’s a good day 
• Expectations tend to rise with accomplishments 
• How does your past self perceive your current achievements?
• Being kind to to yourself isn’t about ignoring your weaknesses. It’s about giving yourself permission to learn from your weaknesses
• People don’t judge your competence/potential  based on one performance. When people assess your skills, they focus on the peaks
• Success isn’t about perfection, but how much you have overcome along the way 
• Set up a committee of judges for yourself
• “If this was the only work ppl saw of yours, would you be proud of it?”
• Ongoing desire to grow: “An apple that isn’t ripe isn’t full formed.  It’s incompletely and imperfect. That’s what makes it beautiful.” – Tadao Ando
• Scaffolding to overcome obstacles 
• You don’t have to agree with criticism to learn from it 
• Boreout: emotional deadening you feel when you are under stimulated. 
• Deliberate play: structured for learning and mastery along with recreation structured to break complex tasks into simpler parts, so you can hone a specific skill. Mixing it up
• Languishing: emotional experience of stalling 
• When other people believe in us, they give us a ladder
• We don’t just want to prove ourselves, we want to blaze a trail for others to follow
• We reach our greatest height when we attach our bootstraps to other people’s boots
• Intrinsic motivation is contagious 
• Collective intelligence: depends less on people’s cognitive skills and more about people’s social skills and “team players” who can collaborate. A bad apple can spoil the barrel
• The stress people feel in interviews and on tests can drain working memory and cause underwhelming performance
• How people handle a ‘do-over’ is just as important, if not more, than their first attempt.
• Imposter syndrome vs growth mindset: Imposter Syndrome: I don’t know what I’m doing. It only a matter of time before everyone finds out.  Growth Mindset says: I don’t know what I’m doing YET. It’s only a matter of time until I figure it out.
  • Scaffolding gives you what you need to figure it out. 
• If you doubt yourself, shouldn’t you also doubt your low opinion of yourself?
• When multiple ppl believe in you, it may be time to believe them. 
• Ppl measure progress by the status they acquire or the accolades they get. But the gains that count the most are the hardest to count- the most meaningful growth is not building our career, but building our character. Success is more than reaching our goals– it is living our values. No higher value than aspiring to be better tomorrow than we are today. And there is no greater accomplishment than reaching our hidden potential. 

Real Self-Care: A TRANSFORMATIVE PROGRAM FOR REDEFINING WELLNESS (CRYSTALS, CLEANSES, AND BUBBLE BATHS NOT INCLUDED), by Pooja Lakshmin, MD- This was my favourite wellness book I read this year. Dr. Lakshmin’s real approach to self-care (while deconstructing and debunking commercial self-care) and shared examples really resonated with me, especially as a professional and a mama. This was another book that I listened to, and then bought a hardcopy of, so I could reread and highlight along the way. Here are some notes I took while listening:

• People are often more comfortable with productivity than rest because it gives the illusion of control… the frontal cortex is driving this thought “If i can just her this client report dine, I’m be in much better shape for my to do list.“
• The first step to change is identifying what’s not working. Meal prep kits ARE a form of self care—- or faux self care. 
• The three reasons why we turn to faux self care:  Escape. Achievement. Optimization. 
• Escape: These methods aren’t bad. But they often are bandaids. You can be running from something, or simply every small decision comes with emotional baggage. Think about what’s working and what’s broken. The quick solution is just temporary and doesn’t focus on daily decisions. A lot of the time a week-away retreat is just running from daily life. The real work begins when you get home again. 
  • Deep-seated feeling of worthlessness: there are ‘hungry ghosts’ (Buddhist belief) inside of us that are constantly ravenous but never satiated. Self-care is not grounded in caring or comparison for yourself. It often is grounded in shame. We grew up thinking we are not good enough the way we are. The need to succeed becomes blinding. A study by Weight Watchers showed, on average, women criticize themselves 8 x per day, almost half of women reported they these criticisms start before 9:30 am 
  • Life can feel like a series of races to prove our work. The drive to succeed is often unconsciously motivated by shame. 
• Optimization: 
  • Time hacks. Meal delivery and other time-saving strategies 
  • Example: a woman didn’t find she was enjoying her time with her kids even after all her efficiencies and time saving hacks. The problem is often that you can’t turn your brain off… we are constantly wondering if you are maximizing every area of your life. Best = Most efficient and controlled vs fulfilled work intent.
  • Focus on productivity. Efficient is used as a coping mechanism. But the point of efficiency is leaving more time and space for ourselves. 
  • Prefrontal cortex -focused women ping pong between dread and relief.   
• Well-being is actually related to the feeling brain. 
• A study from the university of Oklahoma , the wellbe feeling of moms is linked to four factors: – feeling unconditionally loved, feeling comforted when distressed, feeling satisfaction in friendships, authenticity in relationships. 
• Real fulfilment and real self-care comes from fixing your true sense of self. 
• We prioritize others ahead of ourselves. Faux self-care exonerates the system of culpability. 
• Bearing higher levels of mental load, expresses greater levels of emotional emptiness. Many are likely to look around at all they have and say “I this all there is?” 
• The more you succeed at work, the more you feel as though you are failing at home, and vice versa. 
• Selflessness is is synonymous with motherhood. 
• Women are supposed to be both self-sacrificing and professionally ambitious. You cannot “self care” yourself into working a 40-day wrk week when you don’t have childcare. 
• We must aim for a solution that challenges everything we know. REAL self-care is about changing your internal reality- your consciousness. Give yourself the permission to make an internal change. 
• Four principals for real self care:
  • 1- Boundaries and moving past guilt. Decision making. You must be assertive in prioritizing your own desires. Balancing the needs of your priorities with your partners and kids. Stop being controlled by feelings of guilt. 
  • 2- Insert compassion with how you speak to yourself.. 
  • 3- Assertion of power. Make yourself bigger. Women are the only ones that can give ourselves permission to practice real self care. Face head-on the toxicity and trauma that the patriarchy forces upon women. “I exist and I matter.”
  • 4- Get to know yourself- your real self. Real self care beings you closer to your authentic self. Introspection, perseverance
• Move fwd despite the suffering- ACT THERAPY: Acceptance and commitment therapy. We all suffer in life. There is no way around said suffering. Take action towards what matters most in life. Your insides should match your outsides. Emotional and mental labour. 
• To set boundaries:  We have to learn to accept the fact that we are not of responsible for the emotions of other ppl. We must learn to tolerate others disappointment. 
• If we avoid guilt or fight it, we are still letting it control us. Guilt is a faulty check engine light . Guilt does not need to meet our compass- learn that we are taking responsibility for our own emotions and make sure instead of avoidance, we have it as a dull light in the background instead of  being reactive and causing us to “jump in the car and take it to the mechanic.” 
• Cognitive diffusion – psychological flexibility– no single thought or feeling is the TRUTH. Practice looking AT A thought. Process of creating space between our thoughts and feelings. 
• Strategies:
  • Set boundaries with our mind. Thought exercise: visualize the “sushi train.” Imagine you are in a sushi resto. Chef is our brain- when we get hooked on a thought, it’s like stopping the conveyor belt and grabbing the sushi and mowing it down. But instead, consider not grabbing the sushi and continue watching the conveyor belt. Don’t grab or push away. Instead of the content of the thought, think about the function: how are your relationships impacted when you let guilt lead? 
  • Or add a catch phrase: when you find yourself spiralling “my mind is telling me” before or after those guilty thoughts. It will help then the volume down on the guilt. 
  • Or ask: what does the guilt look like? Is it a sound? Or a cloud? Or a feeling in the pit of your stomach? it can come in different forms. When you pinpoint and name forms- it takes away the power of some of those thoughts. Get comfortable tolerating your guilt. 
• Silence the killjoys- think about how others in your life are influencing  your decision. 
• Boundaries are not common sense- they are taught. Boundaries are a reflection of how willing you are to create the life that you want. Create space from the opinions of others. Which situations leave you feeling more energetic ? Which leave you with a feeling of dread?
• Martyr mode- the opposite of self care. Always praised for being nice and catering to everyone from a young age. When we are stuck in martyr mode- life feels like life is happening TO you, as opposed to being the agent of your own life. It is standard for mothers to feel like this- we do something and when it isn’t recognized with praise, compassion etc, we can get upset. We come across it honestly. This really resonated with me!
• Give yourself permission to practice self compassion. 
• There are constant people, places or things that make it hard to practice self compassion. Situations where your self criticism is really loud. 
• Shame: We are inherently unworthy. Show us: you are never good enough. And who do you think you are. Shame is different than guilt. Guilt is specific to anyone action. Where we shame is a feeling of otherness 
• Name a situation where you were surprised by the kindness or generosity you gave yourself. 
• Pay attn now you talk to yourself 
• Lighten your shame. 
• You are “good enough”
• Self compassion is a prerequisite for rest. 
• Pay attn to the cues your body is sending you 
• Rest is an assertion of strength  
• Be brave. Give yourself permission to rest. Yoga and meditation can be helpful as a body based practice (not only as faux self care when used to help calm the body and be on time with your body). When we decide to rest it is power. Start small and make micro decisions
• What is one small thing i can do for my body right now 
• How can i choose rest ?
• Tailor real self care with where we are – 
• Compassion is something you must give to yourself. It will not come from the outside. 
• You don’t need to be down and out to accept help. 
• Goals are things that you do- but values are the resasons you do them. We often feel we will feel better when we achieve our goals. Rarely do we identify the values beneath them. 
• Use your values to build your self care list
• Values that resonate with me specifically: acceptance, atonomy, adventure, caring, authenticity, creativity, generosity, self awareness, community, openness, stability 
• A value is most useful when choosing one value over another 
• Self care compass: What, How and Why. 
• What– goals. Pick one goal for each area of your life. What’s can be big or small goals. 
• How- with your values list, reflect on HOW YOU want to achieve them, not others
• Why- your personal manifesto. 
• Compass is a visual representation. Goals are the “what” and are the centre of the compass. “How” is middle layer. “Why” on the outside.
• The practice of Hope is a resilient-building method 

Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention–and How to Think Deeply Again, by Johann Hari- This was the first book I consumed in 2023 and brought up so many relevant points around our lack of attention in today’s society and where these issues stem from. Hari’s case studies and in-depth research hit close to home and will (hopefully!) cause readers to re-evaluate consumption habits in their daily lives and make conscious steps to change them.

How to Be Perfect: : The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question, by Michael Schur, creator of The Good Place (amongst many of your other favourite shows and episodes)- If you watched The Good Place, you’ve probably read the ridiculous amount of reading and prep Mike Schur did ahead of and during the shows run. (Be sure to listen to The Good Place podcast too!) In How to Be Perfect, Mike provides insights into all of his research in moral philosophy: grey areas, what it means to be “good” and the best ways to live an ethical life- although it’s not always so easy.

Favourite Fiction:

Lessons in Chemistry, by Bonnie Garmus- now a hit series on Appletv+! This has to be one of my favourite books of the year and went in a completely different direction than I originally expected it to. The main character, is a true feminist in the 1960’s; the novel is centred around Elizabeth Zott, an accomplished scientist whose career takes a detour when she unexpectedly becomes the star of a beloved TV cooking show.

Lucky, by Marissa Stapley- I don’t know how I found this book- although it was most likely through Reese Witherspoon’s book club suggestions. The hook is as follows: “A thrilling roller-coaster ride about a heist gone terribly wrong, with a plucky protagonist who will win readers’ hearts,” and the protagonist, Lucky, won me over and had me rooting for her as the story progressed. I could see this novel making a great tv show or movie. Added bonus: Marissa Stapley is Canadian!

Favorite Fantasies:

The Last Hours series: Chain of Gold, Chain of Iron, Chain of Thorns by Cassandra Clare- once again, Cassandra Clare has me thinking differently about historical fiction. I love the Shadowhunter universe so much (no surprise there) and really appreciate when Clare dives into the past with her fantasy lens. This series is set in 1903 and follows the lives of James Herondale, Cordelia Carstairs and their friends, with special appearances by some of our favourite Shadowhunter universe characters. The main characters are deliciously complex, frustrating and fierce. Clare can do no wrong in my eyes, and this story was yet another example of how Clare marvellously tackles anything she puts her mind to.

Blood and Ash series (Books 1-3), by Jennifer Armentrout– I have to thank my friend Jane for introducing me to the From Blood to Ash series in 2022 and the magic continued into 2023! What an amazing mix of fantasy and romance in this high fantasy series with monsters, sex and magic.

The Empyrean Series, The Fourth Wing and Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros– What an exciting new high fantasy romance series this was! This series had everything: communicating dragons, a brand new fantasy world, complex world building, a sexy romance, twists and turns at every corner… you name it! This series has taken the world by storm, and I definitely join readers everywhere in recommending it!

Bewitched, by Laura Thalassa– the first book in a new paranormal romance series, this story and its witchy world wasn’t cut from the typical YA-fantasy cloth. Not only is it much spicier, but it includes references to ancient mythology, an angry ancient king named Memnon, and includes an interesting, loveable heroine named Selene with a disability that leaves the reader wondering if they can actually believe everything their protagonist is telling them.

Ash Princess, by Laura Sebastian- A thrilling, dark page-turner that will leave you guessing until he very last chapter! This New York Times bestseller takes you on the journey of scorned and humiliated Theodosia must fight to reclaim her Kingdom.

Romance:

People We Meet on Vacation, by Emily Henry– This was the first Emily Henry novel I had read, and of course I read it while on vacation. It had me laughing and falling in love with the characters the way all fun-loving romance books do—- I couldn’t put it down!

Beach Read, by Emily Henry- I really enjoy Emily Henry’s books and her novels are actually what got me back into contemporary romance again. This story was focused around a romance writer who is stuck in a rut, and a fiction writer who doesn’t believe in love. The two make a summer-long challenge with one another and end up learning more than they had bargained for in the process.

After reading that Rebecca Yarros of Fourth Wing fame is also a New Adult and Romance author, I did a deep dive through her catalogue and was completely taken with many of the military and adventure romance series she has created! Definitely recommend the following books from her catalogue:

The Renegades Series: Book 1: Wilder, Book 2: Nova, Book 3: Rebel– I LOVED this hot little series, with each story focused on a different protagonist, each character a member of a thrill-seeking group who has gone viral called The Renegades. The story focuses on the Renegades boarding a “Breaker High-esque” college aboard a cruise boat— taking students on 2 semesters at sea for the around-the-world trip of a lifetime. Dangerous stunts, romantic entanglements and cross-border politics are all captured in this trilogy. A fun, fast-paced adventure!

Flight and Glory Series- This series reminded me of a KA Tucker-type series, full of mystery, love, tragedy, comedy and hope. There are five books in this series, plus a 6th that circles back on one of the relationships. I especially enjoyed reading how each of the characters were interwoven into the other books— I loved the friendships, character growth, and I especially enjoyed learning so much about the military in these books!

Feel free to ping me with any general commiserations, recommendations or detailed thoughts on The Woman in Me 😉

Thanks for reading along with me! Now here is another picture from a photo shoot I won back in 2017 that I have no need for. Feel free to scroll along now, nothing to see here!